Thursday, February 4, 2010


Admit many times did you utter, "WTF?" or an actual expletive during Tuesday's season premiere? My fellow Lost Sussers received many incredulous texts from me, some of which are not fitting to reprint here. Ahem.

But really...WTF? It was 2 hours of almost non-stop "Are you kidding me?" moments. Also, many "Wait, WHAT?" gasps. Let's try to discuss* the first hour for a bit, shall we?

A bit of explanation--the show is clearly employing an "alternate reality" timeline, so we'll review it first before delving into the "Did Juliet reset everything?" timeline.

Confused? Me, too. Let's just go with it...we'll greet our cast of characters, one at at time...

Hey, look! Oceanic 815's in the air again. There's Cindy the "We're here to watch, Jack" flight attendant, offering little bottles to Dr. Unsatisfied Imbiber. Now...I've viewed this scene enough times to know that Cindy sneaks two bottles to Jack, not one. Is this Oceanic Flight 815? 'Cause I'm feeling kinda gipped...for Jack...I mean, he needs two bottles!

Hey, look! It's Rose! (The heart & soul of Lost, no doubt.) But why is Rose comforting Jack, instead of the other way around? "You can let go now," she gently submits.

OK...this is clearly alterna-world. This can't be Oceanic 815.

Jack takes a potty break and discovers a cut on his neck. I'm not even going to pretend to understand what this means, because I'm already bug-eyed (much like Ben) over these few opening minutes. Just go back to your seat, Dr. Shephard. Oh, look! It's Desmond.

Jack senses familiarity with the Scotsman. The Scotsman is oblivious to this familiarity. And did anyone notice the wedding band on Desmond's left hand? (Unable to find a screencap of it, but trust me--it's there.) Yeah. I'm with Jack. Perplexed, looking out the plane's window...

Are. You. Kidding. Me?
Why is Dharmaville/New Otherton underwater? And let's discuss the Dharma symbol on this shark. I didn't catch it upon first viewing, but it lept off my screen the second time. Clearly he's better down waaaaay where it's wetter.

Growing more nervous by the second and fearing the show had jumped the shark (literally & figuratively) in the first 5 minutes, I, y'all? We are no longer in Kansas anymore.
I echo our dearly departed Drive Shafter, Charlie: "Guys...where are we?" 'Cause it's kinda looking like Atlantis. I don't want it to be Atlantis. Did Jughead explode, thereby calmly sinking the island and sustaining minor damage to it, under the sea? Did it really go "Bloop!" as we saw at the end of Season 4, when Ben turned the wheel? My head is spinning. Thank God for a commercial break.

In a span of about 30 seconds, Kate (oh hey, Mr. Marshall!) meets Jack...
And Sawyer...
Typical. This Bermuda Triangle of a "love" triangle is really getting on my nerves. But I digress...

My second shout of the night goes to ARZT! No, I didn't get "some Arzt on me," (still my favorite line from season 1) but seeing him made me happy. Thank you, writers of Lost. It's the little things which keep this audience satisfied.
And why is Hurley so cheerful? "I'm the luckiest man in the world!" Again, we're clearly not in Kansas anymore. Or in Oz, for that matter. (Yes, Sawyer is reading. As per usual. Brilliant.)

Meanwhile Sun's enjoying the love affair that is Rose & Bernard (told y'all they're the heart and soul of the show) and Jin's enjoying her boobs. Ah, but as usual, these boobs are just for him. Button it up, Sun!

Hey, look--it's Frogurt! He's all safe and snuggled between Boone and Lock. But please love that he's wearing a red shirt. It's almost guaranteed that a flaming spear will find its way to Frogurt's heart, somehow, somewhere. Rest in Peace, Frogurt. Or continue napping in peace...whatever...

At first I was all, "No way would Boone ever be sitting in coach--Shannon wouldn't allow it." Then I realized..."Whoa...where's Shannon?" Boone explains her absence, but still...Boone without Shannon is like step-incest without...ok, ewwww...I can't even go there. Boone tells Locke (hey, John!), "If this plane goes down, I'm sticking with you!" Of course you are, Boone. Some things never change. (Except now Boone's a deliciously hot, evil brother on another network, but that's a vampire of a different color.)

Moving on...
The doctor on board is summonsed to help Cindy with a passenger locked in the restroom. Of course it's Charlie. And of course Jack is always fixing things.
Charlie, dude...there's no hope in dope. In your throat.

Let's not forget who broke down the bathroom door. Only my favorite ninja in the world, Sayid! Now that's what I'm talking 'bout! Finally! Someone who seems their usual, "normal" self. Or as normal as this lot can be.

After Jack has commenced with the fixing, he returns to his seat to find that Desmond is gone. When Jack questions Rose about Desmond's disappearance, she lies to him..."We were asleep." Uh, no weren't. I know this because I rewound this scene and watched it three times. You and Bernard were not asleep, so why the fib? I still love you,'re my girl.

Captain Norris alerts the passengers of their impending arrival to Los Angeles, offering ground details such as the 72 degree temperature, 6 miles of visibility, and winds out of the southwest at 5 miles per hour.

Let's go over that again...72 degrees...6 miles visibility...winds at 5 MPH.

Notice the lack of the numbers? This might be reaaaaaaaally reaching, but we've spent the past five years having those numbers (4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42) ingrained into our Lost consciousness, so it seems rather odd to have no reference to them here. OK, yes...2, 5, and 6 are all part of the ground details, and part of the numbers. Yet methinks that since we're obviously in a completely variant reality, the numbers must not be "in play" anymore. Hmmmm...

We see Ocean Flight ___ land in Los Angeles, and we catch Charlie shooting an eyeful of daggers at Jack. We also learn that, as in the "other" reality, John Locke is once again confined to his wheelchair.
The look of resignation on his face simply slayed me. I've never felt sorry for John, because he's never given me any reason to. (Well, there was that one time his Dad stole his kidney...and pushed him out of a building window...) "Don't tell me what I can't do!" has been his mantra, and he's proven over the past 5 years that he can do a whole darn lot. But I did feel sorry for him in this scene.

As the plane emptied, I wondered...where are...
Walt and Michael? (And Vincent? I refuse to accept a show that doesn't have the dog!)
Ana Lucia?
Nikki and Paulo?

We'll leave the new flash-sideways behind, as the producers are calling it. What shall we call it? Flash-sideways? Alternate reality? Y'all Better Not Be Jumping The Shark With This New Storytelling Device? This Is So Confusing? Exactly.

I'm holding my judgement on this new tactic of narrative because it is a little intriguing to see both sides of the "Did they or did they not reset time?" speculation. I'll enjoy this "what if" scenario to a point. And then I would really like the writers to pick a path and end our Lost journey on the straight and narrow. Even though Lost is never straight and narrow. Even though the writers aren't listening to me. (Why aren't you listening to me, writers? Kidding.)

This is Kate's eye. Not Jack's, as we've come to know and love over the years. Kate's up in a tree. But not for long. She finds Miles, they sort out their hearing disorder (why do they sound as if they're underwater?), and it's back to the hatch we go!

This is my boyfriend. I mean, James "Sawyer" Ford. Also, my boyfriend.
"She's dead, you son-of-a-bitch, 'cause you were wrong!"

Dude, I've been telling Jack he's been wrong for the past two seasons, so you're preaching to the choir. Kick his ass, James! Oh did kick his ass, just a few moments ago. (Remember the Great Jungle Smackdown of the Season 5 Finale? That was good times.)

Not far from the imploded hatch, Sayid bleeds, Hurley brandishes a rifle, and Jacob saunters out with a very concerned expression on his face. As if he'd have another expression.

Concurrently, we return to New Locke and Ben, underneath the shadow of the statue, following the murder of Jacob. And this is Ben as we've never seen him before. 'Member when Ben was all badass and calling the shots and being the island's de facto leader? Yeah, he doesn't either.

Then we have Sun & Lapidus talking about some shiz...
And Richard and Ilana talking about some shiz...
But all that was kinda boring, so let's move on.

Well...lookie there, Ben. 'Member how you killed Locke, aka Jeremy Bentham? Still not feeling badass at all, are we?

Back at the ranch hatch, Kate hears the faint voice of Juliet. JULIET! She's ALIVE!!!! Because he's a manly man and because he's awesome, Sawyer springs into action. This involves ordering Jin around and a mad scramble to remove the debris surrounding the imploded area of the hatch.

Simultaneously, Jacob is dropping bombshells and instructions all over Hurley, who is, as usual, completely nonplussed to be talking with a dead dude. Jacob tells Hurley that he needs Charlie's guitar case to save Sayid. Ok, there's more to it than that, but my mind is still focused on JULIET!

Sawyer trips over Desmond's exercise bike and makes it to Juliet's battered and bloody side. "It didn't work," she moans. She reveals to Sawyer that she hit the bomb. "We're still on the island."

Above ground Kate is calling, "Sawyer!" and I still hate her.

Jack tells Hurley that he's unable to fix Sayid (wow--Mr. Fixer's not so fixy now, is he?), so Hurley grows a pair. And I applauded.

Across town the beach, Bram drags Ben to visit Fake Locke. Locke tells Bram, essentially, "Peace out!" Bram's not happy with this dismissal so he starts shooting. The Smoke Monster whirs. Destroys. Bram is staked through the heart. Ew.
Let's stop for a moment to discuss...not the ash (yes, we all saw Bram's protective barrier of ash--and we also saw him flung from said protection, and then staked.)...but the fact that a character named Bram was killed via a stake through the heart. Awesome. I love this show.

Upon Ben's utter breakdown, Fake Locke calmly retorts, "I'm sorry you had to see me like that." Dun-Dun-Duuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This opens up a new can of worms. So Fake Locke is the Smoke Monster? This means the Man in Black has been the Smoke Monster all along? How did Ben summon the Monster if he was unaware of Jacob's nemesis? Was he (Man in Black) being held captive by the ash around that dilapidated cabin? Was he the one eerily crying out, "Help me!" to the real John Locke back in season three's, "The Man Behind the Curtain?" (And not Jacob, as Ben falsely referred to him.) Click here for reference.

My head's hurting.

Let's return to the tragedy of my life. I mean, of this episode.
"Love is a smoke raised with the fumes of sighs;
Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes..." --from Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet

I really didn't watch to watch Juliet die. Again. Why the pain? Why the torture? Oh, for plot purposes, naturally.

Just before she passes, Juliet asks James if he'd like to "get coffee," offering to make it a dutch treat. Instantly I thought of Charlotte as she was dying..."I'm not allowed to have chocolate before dinner." Was Juliet seeing her alternate reality? One that included a java date with her James? Oh puh-lease can this be the case? I'd feel much better knowing that these two are destined to be together...eventually. (I hate Kate.)

Before the moment of supreme agony, Juliet also whispers to Sawyer that she must tell him "something really important."

And then she dies and I don't wanna discuss it anymore because I'm still not over it.

Neither is he...

This brings us to the end of the first hour. Hey, I never said brevity was my strongest trait.

Let's chat about the first 60 minutes of the final season of Lost. Suss it out in the comments, and we'll post the 2nd chapter of LA X very soon.

Aren't we so glad Lost is back? Amen!

*None of us here at Sussing Out Lost claim to be island geniuses. That's why we list our favorite Lost smarty pants over there on our sidebar. If you want to graduate from the Head of the Lost Class, be sure to read Entertainment Weekly's Jeff "Doc" Jensen. His analyses of each episode continue to astound and confound us. Seriously.


Busy Bee Lauren said...

*standing on my desk clapping*

You KNOW I freaked when I saw Desmond on the flight...but really, was I surprised? No way. I however did the "Desmond" face and said..."what the heck!?" instead of "Brothah!" hahah!

Anyway, it didn't even occur to me that Juliet may have been seeing her alternate reality. Well done! I hope this is the case, because if I see Kate with either of Jack of Sawyer, I will break up with the show.

Not really.

Anyway, who else is feeling bad for Ben? Because I am.

And who else is freakin scared of fake Locke? Because, dude.

Janet said...

Yes indeedy, the first hour was quite intense. Poor Sawyer, poor Juliet. I have no idea what is going on either but this alternative time line does prove rather interesting. I realize you're not a Kate lover, but I am very interested to see where she runs off to and/or with whom (other than Claire, I'm talking men here). Until Part II, where I have more thought of nothing....

Karen said...

I had this completely weird moment where I wondered if...perhaps...Ben wasn't actually Ben when he "summoned" the Smoke Monster...Either that or Smokey had disguised him/itself as someone else when making Ben's acquaintance.

Oh, and I don't think Sun and Jin are married in the alterna-world. They aren't wearing rings and Jin has the watch in a box instead of around his wrist. Plus there's that whole thing about her being called Ms. Paik in the second hour, but we'll discuss that when the post comes.

Em said...

My head hurts.

Seriously, did they need to kill Juliet. Again! And let Kate live.


My favorite was my husband's reaction to crawling into bed and learning that there was another hour yet to come.

The divorce is pending. What did I ever see in him?!

Excellent job Lula dear, excellent!

Oh Jack, sigh.


Shannon said...

How many times did I mutter "WTF?"... too many to count.

I need to re-watch the 1st hour (along with the 2nd... ahem). 'Cause I totally did not see the ring on Desmond's finger or the Dharma symbol on the shark.

I do not like the "flash-sideways" Jin. At. All.

That's all I can suss right now... dinner is ready!

Kat said...

I am feeling the need to watch it again before next Tuesday. And after doing the rewatch over the past have to go a week between episodes is pure torture.

Okay...and maybe we'll cover some of this with hour two...but in the alternate time line, do you think that Sawyer is a conman? How are their lives different if Jacob never touched them? He also touched Jin and Sun - how has that lack of touch changed them??

NutHouse Reviews (Shannon) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shannon said...


My husband? Walked into the den, and dared to utter:

"I can't believe you're watching this rubbish."

Dude, if I wasn't so riveted in what was happening on the screen, I would've lept off the couch to smack him. Thems fightin' words, right there.

Shannon said...

"Then we have Sun & Lapidus talking about some shiz...
And Richard and Ilana talking about some shiz...
But all that was kinda boring, so let's move on."

Oh, Lula... how I love you.

Shannon said...


Y'all HAVE to see this:

It's a side-by-side comparison of Flight 815... what happened in season 1 on the left, season 6 on the right.

Lula! said...

did you see that I made "Some Shiz" one of the post labels?

Sometimes I'm funny.

CaraBee said...

As always, Lula, BRILLIANT recap.

I'm pretty sure I said WTF about every 42 seconds.

I just don't even know what to think about all of this. I am going to be so perturbed if they do an alternate reality. I mean, come on, Carlton and Damon, you can do better than that!

Can't wait for next week!

Ashton Dene' said...

Best line of this recap: Above ground Kate is calling, "Sawyer!" and I still hate her.

You know I'm with you on hatin' Kate, and I tried so,so hard to love her.

You also know how much I love Juliet. I felt as if she was a cat with as many times as I watched her die on Tuesday night.

And honestly, since I just started watching Lost -- I really want to love Jack. I'm hoping that he truly does find redemption this season. This episode he pretty much was the cause of all the problems and none of the fixing. And Sawyer? Has every right to hate him. And kick his ass in another rumble in the jungle.

I need to rewatch the episode before Tuesday so I can pick out more of these details.

x, ash

頭昏 said...

人生最大的榮耀,不是永遠不敗,而是屢仆屢戰 ..................................................

Queenie Jeannie said...

How many "WTF" moments?? Countless!!! I watched it with my beloved, and we just looked at each other so many times, utterly confused!

I caught the one vodka bottle for Jack, BUT I thought, a ha! if the plane doesn't crash he only needs ONE BOTTLE because he drank one and pocketed the second. Which he used to clean his wound and sterilize the needle for stitches.

I think the sideways view is for this show how boring and awful our characters' lives would have been had they NOT crashed. So we want the crash! So our friends need the crash!! And it's their destiny...right?

Freaked when Desmond was on the plane.

Freaked on Rose/Jack dialog reversal.

Cried, again, when Juliet died, again.

Freaked on Chinese dude at the temple. (I know, second hour stuff.)

Freaked, but happy!, when Hurley grew a pair and was a take charge kinda guy.

Freaked on "happy" Hurley on the plane.

Got a lump in my throat for plane John Locke. He just looked so sad and pathetic!!

Have always hated Ben for the low down, mean ass bully that he was, and LOVED seeing him clueless and scared. Seriously cracked me up and loved, loved, loved it!!!

OK, I've talked too much. I will definitely watch it again because I missed Dharma shark and some other tidbits...

Melissa said...

Sigh. Shocked and shagrinned is what would only begin to describe what I feel about the start of this new season. The temple thing just weirded me out.

I'm sad that the man in black shape shifted into Locke. That is what he did, right? Interesting theory on Ben, Karen. It's almost as if he has become the old Locke and the old Locke has become him. Who the heck knows anymore.

There are just too many mysteries to solve.

I didn't even notice Sun being called Ms. Paik. How did I miss that? How did I miss the Dharma sign on the shark?

Lula, I've said it before and I'll say it again, you are just smart on a whole different level than me. And for this, I ♥ U.

Heather said...

I love that Jin tried to comment a few lines up there.

As usual, your recap rocked. I realize it was after a few hours of intense "labor", but your LOST baby is beautiful.

And hilarious.

I hate Kate too. I do. She's so broody and not at all like our beloved Juliet. I hope Sawyer realizes this and comes to me for comfort. Cause I'm here for him that way.

I need to go back and watch the first hour again. My head imploded after the whole Sayid debacle in the second hour and I lost a bunch of what happened.

Kelly Deneen said...

I need to re-watch this whole thing. SO much happened. First though, I did not need to see Juliet fall 3 times in a row (recap episode, catch up at beginning of show, and beginning of show). It killed me the first time, and I teared up all 3 times again. Ugh. When she died. Again. I almost lost it. Have I mentioned that I sometimes yell at the TV when watching Lost? My husband thinks I'm watching hockey. I need to think on this some more and come back, but I did wonder where Michael and Walt were. And Claire -- but then she was in a taxi, so perhaps she was on the plane but we didn't see her. Oy vey. I'll be back. ;)

Great recap though! It made me snerk a bit (but in a good way, I promise).

Karen said...

It hurts my heart to read about all the Kate Hate. I love her. I love her tormented and headstrong self. And I want Kate and Jack to end up together and make beautiful babies.

Did anyone else notice/love that Greg Grunberg was the pilot for alterna-plane? I wish we'd gotten to see him onscreen, but just hearing his voice made me smile.

And I have this crazy thought that...perhaps...Shannon isn't Boone's sister in the other world. He never identifies her by name. Just says that his sister wouldn't get on the plane. Boone's flying in Coach, which means something in his life is different. Maybe his mom never married Shannon's dad. Just a random theory. Can't wait to see what happens!

Rhea said...

This 2 hour premier was awesome! I was squealing in disbelief at the TV over and over.

Is Saiyid now really Jacob?!!

Kristen said...

Best line ever: (Except now Boone's a deliciously hot, evil brother on another network, but that's a vampire of a different color.)

WTF count in my house: 27

Level of shock when Desmond, my constant, was on board the flight on a scale from 1 to 10: 1,396

I had an Atlantis fear myself when we started swimming. And the shark come on screen. I was all WTH and Eric was all WTF?!

You know I love me some Jack & Kate. I love Sawyer too but Juliet? Lord help me - doesn't she have a Santa Clause movie to make or something? Boo hiss to her.

Hurley? Good luck?!

It's all too much for my brain.

Kristen said...

P.S. Was there anything showing this new flight was happening in 2004? I'm in the school of thinking both realities are happening at the same time...

Queenie Jeannie said...

Still confused and new episode on tonight......!!!!!

Michelle said...

I totally noticed that Jack only got one lil booze bottle, and the conversation reversal between he and Rose, but not the ring on Desmonds finger (WTF was he on the plane? he's supposed to be in the hatch NOT causing the plain to crash)and I missed the Dharma stamp on the shark. Boone's got a little Damon in him now, he's not so Boone-ish anymore. lol

I don't feel bad for Locke or Ben, never did. (ya except the kidney thing thats just wrong dude)

I was also wondering why we didn't see everyone else stepping off the plane or sitting on the plane.

It really was hard to watch Juliet die yet again! Good theory on her dutch date comment, that's gotta be right on.

A.MAZ.ING Recap as always!

kanishk said...

They aren't wearing rings and Jin has the watch in a box instead of around his wrist.
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